The next day I was favoring the hurt leg. I decided that I had to just not run until it was better. I had to get to the start healthy. And Trust - trust that truly the training was over. Trust what I have been told and what scientifically has been proven, that you dont lose fitness in 2 weeks. so the, I would have to be sure that I did not lose the mental edge and I had to ensure that self doubt did not creep in. I tend to be one that has to consistently practice, and get validation often, in order to believe. Trusting is very very hard for me.
Thursday prior to the race I headed to Arizona. Long day of travel with messed up flights and etc. I was happy to just get to sisters house and crash! On Friday I got up and did a short run. it was my first run in 2 weeks and I wanted to see how the leg would do. It felt fine walking around and so this would just be a "mental" boost to remind me that I can still run, prior to hitting the start line. I started out and suddenly I cannot breath. The dirt in the air and cotton fields with fluff flying everywhere just really did a number on me. I did run 3 miles right at 7:30 and it was fine...but I was thinking, no way can I pull of 13 of these suckers at this pace.
Next stop of the day was Target where I got some allergy pills and some wine to chill out!!!!
My 3 mile run on Saturday was just to get the nerves out and to try to settle in on some goals. Again the leg was tight, I was frustrated, I truly had no clue what would happen at the race. I do know that something does happen once a # goes on and you get to the start of a race that totally changes things and so once again, I had to trust and just chill out!!! #1 Goal - 7:30 pace or any finish time under 1:40- a Personal best. #2 - Just go whatever pace and have a fun run. #3 - Get to the start and finish healthy if all else fails.
3:45 on Sunday I wake up to get ready for the run. This is a 7 AM start and the bus to the start leaves at 5:00 so it was early!!!! I made the bus and sat next to a girl who was running her first 1/2 marathon. She was so excited. He goal was to just finish. It is always nice to remember that feeling of the "first" race. no expectation and the finish exciting regardless of your time. Nothing like the first. She also told me that she just found out that morning that she was pregnant and was going to surprise her husband at the finish. She was just a doll, full of life. Really made me relax a bit. Here I was a 42 year old, stressed by work, all worked up about running a certain pace and along comes miss sunshine. It was a bit of a slap in the face, which is what I needed. She asked lots of questions like, "Can i stop to drink water?" "are there portlets". "Where should I start"....just too adorable. I tell ya, that is why I love this sport. I always meet someone at each event that just offers a bit to my life.
At the start there were heaters everywhere. These arizonians are funny! 35 and there are heaters at the start...what a crack up. Well, suddenly my tune changed. i did wear some pants and a sweatshirt that I planned to rip off right before the start and just ditch, but for 35 and windy that really was not enough. I was shaking like a leaf and fighting for a spot at one of those heaters. So the joke was on ME!
Finally it was start time. I toward the front , figuring if I could hold 7:30 that I did not want to be frustrated by passing folks the whole time. It was a good placement. I finished right with folks that started right next to me. The first mile was right at 7:30. The leg was pain free - amazing - and my breathing was totally fine. Race adrenaline? A miracle? Not sure what, but I just took it. The next miles were are sub 7:30 just cruising really. I was exhilarated, simply happy. Breathing was nice and easy. I figured I would turn it on at mile 10 if I still felt great. At mile 8 the course started to get daunting. Seeing mile markers ahead for miles was just mentally taxing. No rolling terrain just flat flat flat. I am not sure I really like that. Then at mile 11 came hills, well, my legs that had been on downhill or flat for 10 miles did not like THAT! They just froze up. 2 miles at an 8 pace and i wanted to cry, I wanted to quit. the mental conversation was intense. I told myself "Tania, you are mad because you are running an 8 pace? Years ago that would be a great pace for a whole half marathon!" Then another part said "Tania, you looser, pull your crap together. In less than 20 minutes you will be done." But 20 minutes of pain mentally and physically just seemed impossible. Then "Tania, in 20 minutes you can collapse if you want...the finish will feel better if you know you pulled out all you have got!" And the conversation went on. At one point I just stopped and bent over...I gave myself one minute to pull my shit together. I looked at the watch, and just breathed......and then off I went.
Finish time of 1:38:57. I hit my goal. And, I was upset. how does that happen. I was pissed because that could have been 1:35:57 if I had not stopped and slowed so much. I instantly went into "what can I do better next time."
But then they handed me the medal and I saw my sisters smiling face and I suddenly felt happy. I should be happy...this was a good effort.
Once again a race, that really reminds me of life. Good times, hard times, pull it together times, but if you push on and persevere, never quit and keep going through the uncomfortable, the prize is so so sweet. Just keep going after the goal. Has running taught me this or did life prep me for being able to do this during a run?? I think it is the later. And skills I keep applying to life.
And the medal, it is soooo cool. And the race #'s...awesome. They printed our names on them!!!!
Okay, now to finish up getting ready for Christmas. Talk about pushing on....the prize will be happy kids on Christmas day.
